Vanishing Virgins

When I was in high school, it seemed that all of the “for teen” movies that came out dealt, to some degree, with the issue of virginity.  In many rom-coms, it was a whispered word that somehow meant you were “unloved” or “unwanted.”  I never understood this concept.

I was blessed enough to be raised by wonderful parents with outstanding morals and high expectations for me.  My blessings doubled when I was confirmed as a full-fledged member of the same church in which my father was confirmed in, my parents were married in and I was baptized in.  There, my morals and beliefs were further strengthened.  And I was never ashamed to be a virgin…EVER!

In fact, I was quite proud.  I love knowing that I truly saved myself for my husband.  And he saved himself for me as well.  I believe that this deepens that bond that we share.  We meant every word that we said in the church on our wedding day.  For better or for worse, my husband is the one (and the only one) for me.

Was the virginal road the easiest one to take?  Not necessarily.  I had my share of boyfriends that tried to push for us to “consummate” our relationship.  And it hurt every time I realized that our relationship had boiled down to a physical act.  All the time that I had spent “being in love” with the person was just a waiting game for him to see if he could “get some.”  Many of the girls that I knew in high school would have given in.  I can remember one girl in particularly that did in the back of a pick-up truck.  Wow, talk about romantic.

This is not what I had envisioned for my first time.  But, sadly, this is how many of the girls lost their virginity.  They swore that they were going to marry their high school boyfriend.  Can I tell you how many actually did?  One.  That’s right.  One.

Whenever one of my boyfriends pushed for sex, I told them to drop it.  If they didn’t, it was curb time for them.  I have always respected myself and my body.  I think that a lot of girls have lost that self- respect.  Many have unhealthy body image issues due to what is shown in the media.  And Miley Cyrus is certainly no help in the “protect your gift” category.  Hollywood portrays sex as something that you have to have to survive.  MTV shows that if you are a “man,” you are sleeping with at least ten random women whose names you cannot even remember.  Heaven forbid you are a woman that wants to wait until marriage.  You should be scantily clad, giving it out like candy to anyone that is interested.

Thankfully, I never believed that my virginity was worth losing.  It was worth giving to the ONE man that I knew I would be with for the rest of my life.  And I will never understand the “sex like a man” concept.  So, you sleep around with tons of different guys.  Why?  You are obviously trying to fill a void from a deeper, unresolved issue.

“Don’t you want to have fun?”  I heard that line a lot.  Isn’t that the same line that people use to try to get you to use drugs and steal and all of those other illegal acts?  Waking up the next morning being filled with regret is not my idea of “fun.”  Having boys begin to spread rumors about you and your “performance” does not sound like much fun either.  But, these girls never thought about that.  Every day, boys were sharing their panty exploits during P.E., at lunch, etc.  I was thrilled to not be the subject of any of them.

Then, there were the girls that were not so “lucky” and ended up getting pregnant.  A few actually decided to have the baby, a very brave choice while in high school.  However, the more “popular” choice was to have an abortion.  These girls thought nothing of going to the clinic several times a month!  Do they not realize that every time they have an abortion, they are greatly reducing the likelihood that they will be able to have a baby when they are actually ready?  Having to make such a gut-wrenching life decision would not be something I would label as “fun.”

And here is something that I think about:  Would you really want that many people to have seen you naked?  What if you bumped into one of the people that you slept with in high school on the street?  Wouldn’t you feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that he/she had seen your…everything?  And how would you introduce that person to your spouse?  “Oh, this is Bob.  We used to sleep together back in the day.  No big deal!”

Keeping my virginity until marriage is one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  When I met my husband, I didn’t have to worry about any children from “baby daddies” or ex-lovers giving him a report on what I’m like in the bedroom.  We never had to have that uncomfortable conversation about how many people we had “been with,” like on the movie “Just Married.”  And with him being a virgin as well, we could focus on what was really important, our love.

So, if you are a virgin, hold your head high!  You are a person who respects yourself and is not willing to compromise your morals.


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