As you know, I love Ms. Jillian Michaels. She has truly inspired me to live my best life. I also love listening to her free podcasts (available on iTunes).
This morning, I was listening to the “Do you have my back?” episode. Jillian pointed out that males seem to stand up for one another whereas females tend to trash each other. She stated that we, as women, seem to always think that another female is going to come along and “take our man.” But, males have the famous “Bros before hoes” saying.
The scary part? I think that she is right. At our homecoming parade last year, the class of 2003 was asked to ride on a float. As dorky as it sounds, I was super excited. However, when my husband and I got to the float, I was literally transported back to high school. The boys immediately greeted each other with a hardy handshake or man hug. But he girls broke off into their cliques and stood glaring at the other girls, sizing them up.
Why can’t women have as healthy of relationships as men? I believe I have the answer: jealousy.
Case in point, my husband used to have a best friend named *Ben. They would talk on the phone, go to the movies, tool shop together. It was adorable! And since my husband was home schooled until college, he really didn’t have any other friends.
Then, Ben met *Claudia. At first glance, she seemed like such a nice person. We double dated (Matt and I were already married) a few times and enjoyed ourselves. But, Ben proposed to Claudia and a new side emerged. The sweet, fun-loving girl was replaced with a self-absorbed, conceited, spoiled witch.
Claudia had to have everything her way and Ben was all too happy to comply. Suddenly, every time I tried to talk with her, it became a competition. When I told her I had published a book, she immediately responded that she was currently writing one. When Matt brought up the fact that some of my poems had been published in a magazine, she stated that hers were, too.
And she seemed to have a real problem with me hugging Ben when saying “hello” or “goodbye.” Matt was asked to be a groomsman in the wedding and my faith was renewed. I thought that perhaps she was just so consumed with wedding plans, that she was turning into a temporary bridzilla.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. At the rehearsal dinner, she didn’t say two words to me or Matt. We were like the leper table. Still, I knew that I had to endure all of this drama for the sake of Matt and Ben’s friendship. The wedding was nice, but Claudia then demanded to spend two additional hours taking photos of…herself.
While standing in a park, freezing our booties off, Ben’s mother called him. The reception was being held on a military base (thanks to Claudia’s father) and his mom left her parking pass at home. That’s when Ben yelled at his mother. It was clear to see the damage that Claudia had done. She had taken a family oriented man and turned him into her slave.
We stayed at the reception just long enough for the dinner, toasts and first few dances. Then, we bolted. Before we left, we walked over to Ben and Claudia to thank them for making us a part of their special day. I hugged Claudia and received a Paris Hilton type response. As I moved to hug Ben, he actually, paused, asked Claudia for permission and then proceeded to hug me.
I could not believe it! Why was she so afraid of me? I can assure you that I am not a threatening person in the least. And she always acted so protective of Ben. Did she miss the fact that Matt and I had been married for like two years? I guess that doesn’t mean anything to some women, but it does to me. It means that I am happily taken off of the market and am not even looking at anyone else in that way (aside from Chris Pine).
Claudia got what she wanted. Matt stopped seeing Ben because he hated how Claudia was treating me. He offered to talk with Ben, but I knew that he wouldn’t go against his “princess’s” demands. So, Matt lost his best friend all because of stupid jealousy.
Why do we make it so hard to be female? With behavior like the above, we are not doing ourselves any favors. We also seem to want to support our fellow sisters as long as they are not doing better than us. If a female co-worker gets a promotion, we smile in her face and congratulate her, but hit happy hour with the rest of the office and bash her until the bar closes.
And we talk about men having the “whose is bigger” complex? We have it even worse! Where men typically stop comparing at body parts, cars and girlfriends, we take it to another level. Women compare jobs, houses, jewelry, significant others, trips, pets and even children.
Ladies, for hundreds of years, generations of women have fought so that we can have the rights that we do today. Yet, instead of fighting problems, like the corporate glass ceiling, we are choosing to fight with one another. When we see a sister that is struggling or being wrongly accused, we need to protect her in any way that we can. Instead of being demoralizing, we should be gathering together to provide a network of love and support.
Please understand that I am not saying we should agree on every issue simply because we are females. What I am suggesting is that we should always respect each other and seek to empower fellow women. I know that I feel up to the challenge having Jillian Michaels on our side.