Grass Gripe

I received a very shocking phone call today from my husband. One of the our city’s administrators called and informed him that he needs to mow the grass in our backyard. How did this administrator know that we needed to mow? A lady called in to complain!

Needless to say, I was speechless. My first thought is, how did this “lady” see our BACK YARD? We live along a street with our front house literally on the city sidewalk. There is no front lawn, only the backyard, which cannot be seen from the front of the house. In fact, the only way to see the backyard is walk around the side of our house or drive down the alley behind our house.

How can our grass offend someone? It is OUR grass in OUR yard. Unless this person would like to contribute to our monthly mortgage payment or property tax, I think she should mind her own business. And who has time to go around inspecting people’s yards, anyway?

RETIRED PEOPLE! Yes, we are surrounded by retired people. While I have nothing against those who have put in their time as a productive member of society, I find that once these people retire, they become bored. Suddenly, they have nothing better to do than pick on their fellow neighbors. I can think of tons of things that I would do if I could retire right now: travel, write, read, play video games, snuggle with my fur babies, etc. I would NOT go around town trying to make trouble.

My husband and I have nothing against cutting our grass. However, we do have a problem with someone else TELLING us when we need to mow our grass. Matt and I both work full time. He typically does not get home until 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. I really doubt that this lady would want him to fire up the lawn mower at that time of night.

Secondly, I was raised that women do not mow. My mom was always told that she would probably chop her foot off, so I was never taught how to mow. And Matt so graciously agrees with this upbringing. I take care of the inside of the house and he takes care of the outside.

Thirdly, it has been ridiculously hot outside. The temperature has been in the upper 90’s all week. According to my car’s temperature sensor, it felt like 108 degrees yesterday. How does this lady expect us to mow in this extreme heat?

Finally, Matt has asthma. The biggest thing that affects him? Temperature. If he gets too cold or too hot, he has to take his inhaler, often multiple times. If that is not successful, he has to use his portable nebulizer. And if that doesn’t do the trick, we have to head to the ER. There is no way that I am going to jeopardize his health over something as silly as grass.

I really wish that people would just mind their own business. Case in point, we have a woman that lives down the street from us. She owns the yappiest dog in the world. Seriously, you can hear this dog barking at all hours of the day. But, I would never dream of calling the police for a “noise disturbance.” All dogs are different and bark for varying reasons. And I know how difficult it can be to quiet a dog that is already riled up.

What upsets me the most is that this person didn’t even try to politely ask us to mow our grass. Instead, she went behind our backs and called a town administrator, making us sound like we are a pair of ruthless criminals.

I hope that this person realizes how lucky she is to have us as neighbors. Matt and I don’t drink or smoke. We never have any wild and crazy parties. We don’t have any “domestic disturbances.” In fact, we pretty much keep to ourselves.

Why our grass offended this woman, I do not know. I am even more surprised that our house didn’t upset her. It’s pink.

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